The Boy Who Resisted to Grow Up.

this morning i resisted to wake up. remained in my bed, my eyes were trying to catch the last few images that flashed through my mind before awake. they were beautiful times i recalled. whether happened before or simple imaginations, i can't tell. and so i'd decided to blog..

The Boy Who Resisted to Grow Up.




he used to get so much sleep everyday and yet nobody complained..

and he can just sleep anywhere, anytime, in any position, and you will find nothing less than adorable...





The Boy Who Resisted to Grow Up.

Woke up in the morning you feel tired suddenly..

Reflecting upon the beautiful times you once created..

Without yourself even knowing how..

Unconsciously you just have the magic to make people happy and feel blessed..

Lying in the bed you face the ceiling..

Blur it may just like your doubtful mind..

Why were you able to create such miracles effortlessly then?

Was it the power of being an innocent little boy?

Then you roll sideway..

Slowly easing your head into its most comfortable position in your favorite pillow..

Nobody’s sleeping next to you to be the first person to see you wake..

Focusing hard you try to see who were there back then..

Couldn’t recall you find the memories vague..

Was it because the aging defect or because you were trained to only remember tough times?

Sadly I recalled good memories I wished to erase..

To learn to pick up my steps all by myself..

Sometimes I wonder why we wanted to grow up..

When it’s so beautiful being small and cute..

When responsibilities never even came to mind..

When you just had to wink your “puppish” smile, your signature baby post, or an innocent “sobby” face..

And you know the magic will happen..

They’ll all come surrounding you..

So I think and think and think..

Perhaps we weren’t that naïve even when we were baby boys..

We wanted more than we had..

But I don’t recall I demanded anything from anyone when I was small..

Only a few charming and blissful smiles and I got big sisters surrounding me and playing with me..

Sadly the beautiful memories don’t last forever..

When you start to notice you grow in size..

No longer you are the adorable little boy..

And you noticed the incredible rate you were growing..

Before you even notice, you outsized everyone who once look so gigantic to you..

Ever fear from deep inside if your size scares them?

Haha! No. but a reality check deep down makes you understand you no longer should seek the same treatment..

Well then again, the fact is you still wanted attention.

Not from the signature smiles and posts but the ability to impress others from the “adult charm”.

Was it physical appeal, character appeal, sex appeal, or capability appeal?

Whichever it is it is something more realistic than when you were a kid..

Sometimes I wonder if I could ever choose to stay the same..

To be the boy that grows up still a boy inside..

With no realistic wants, needs, desires, or demands..

But to my understanding it is simply a fact of life.

Can you show me the hands you once gave me when I was a little boy?

The relentless support and coaching that you never selfishly kept to yourself?

Well as far I can remember, I grew up on my own observations and reflection..

Not by asking for help, mentoring, or advices..

I am who I am because I learn my way through life..

A journey of ups and downs I went through myself..

Happy at times thanks to the people sharing my life..

Frowned at times because I learned that some things just had to be dealt with alone..

I used to have nightmares every night..

Waking through the nights with my pair of timid eyes..

To see no familiarities guarding my bedside..

Hiding back into my blankets with my cold feet left wondering in the darks..

Haha! And so I found some special buddies..

Buddies whom I unconsciously hold on to whenever I felt insecure..

Yet reality taught me to deal with my fears on my own..

And so I am here blogging to this open world..

This world with no boundaries of whatever types.

My Visions My Ideals