Rejection sucks.. yet failure is the mother of success.

sigh..

of all things.. i hate rejection the most. i bet everybody feels the same..

hadn't been blogging much lately coz i'm busy with stuffs.

and yea i rarely blog about cool and happy stuffs lately too. don't worry i still do have plenty of ideas on and off in my mind though. afterall i'm a creative idea generator. haha if you believe so.

happy and cool stuffs got me overwhelmed and overoccupies my energy. haha. so i hardly go the extra mile to blog about them. hehe that's for those who happen to wonder why my blogs are mostly sad. i kinda like to blog about sad stuffs coz i think it connects to people's hearts when you write genuinely about feelings and untold complex emotions. i like to question deep into what goes on in the mind and actions when certain combination of happenings exist at the same time. i never stop questioning and that's exactly how i learn and generate ideas and philosophies of my own. weirdo huh? haha.

well back to the point.. i just got rejected by KPMG for my application on the job position Executive - Business Performance Services. honestly it sucks being rejected. and i'm gonna mumble all the way in my blog here like a drunken dude just so i can forget it the next second. to be honest i thought i will get the internship opportunity. yea right there might be thousands of people out there who might be cheering now that i don't get it coz that means less of a competition and who knows i might have unidentified enemies out there. just feels bad..

i believe i did okay during the assessment and interview.. the only let down probably was one weird english comprehension objective test that i really couldn't tell how that is supposed to test my command of the language when i have little idea as to how to determine the what's right from wrong or vice versa. well that proves how bad i am.. i actually got a C for that.. marginal.. okay i admit i am inadequate.

next thing perhaps will have to thank my honesty. they mentioned about their ultimate objective of having to convert interns into permanent employees and yet i sincerely raised the issue about my interest to pursue masters and perhaps professorship after. well i did say it's likely i'm gonna continue working with kpmg if i find myself much interested with the job later and that honest speaking i doubt i will like it so far.. haiz.. what's so wrong about being honest. if you noticed, humans often end up liking the things they hated most at first.. okay you rejected me and that's it. perhaps it's a sign that i should really just go with my instincts and apply for an internship opportunity that might give me a clearer understanding of where i stand to position myself in the future. but that will have nothing to do with my accounting degree and dad will certainly be pissed by it. don't know why i just can never meet my dad's expectations no matter how reluctant i am and yet tried, not to mention about exceeding his "highness" expectations..

you know what? the boy used to have no sense of accomplishments or joyous feeling even when he wins and yet feels miserable whenever he loses. not anymore. i won't allow myself to be affected by this small issues. failure is the mother of success.

let's see what the next thing i should apply for internship and work passionately and happily for! wish me best of luck k my dear friends.. if there's any who's been with me all along..

somehow i just wish to say something though.. baby i love you.. where's my baby when i need my baby? woosh! =P