Love & Hate

How could you love and hate someone so much at the same time?

Does it make sense?
Could you figure an example in your own life?
Is there a way to turn all hates into absolute love?

I don't know if the answer to the last one is possible but I hope someday I'll have the answer myself.

However one thing for sure, you can love and hate one same person crazily at the same time. Let's look at below 2 examples.

Case 1:
Judy loves her dad so much she's always trying so "neckbreaking" hard just to get his approval and to be recognized that she's capable. Any rational person who worked with her before would know how great she is a worker but it's never enough for her because her dad would never recognize it in front of her. At the same time, Judy could hate her father so much for causing so much pain to her mother. All mother wanted was to see them reconcile and come together more often enjoying simple family moments with cheers and laughters. Sometimes she could see herself in her mind's eye, almost screaming at the top of her lungs across the roads at him, "why can't you fucking smile and drop your damn ego! Mummy's already 60 and how many more years could you watch her in misery??!!"

Case 2:
Arthur really disapproves his manager's way of treating her staffs like androids with nothing more than a result machine. She never gives in to their emotions eventhough she does at times compliment them when they did exceed her expectations. But other than that, she expects no pouring of emotions at work. For her, you are an adult and you should behave like one with strict conduct of professionalism. Any energy wasted on emotions are signs of weakness and failure to uphold your title earned. As much as Arthur hated his manager for taking his loyal staff for granted, he loved her dearly for the miraculous profits she made possible to his empire. He could literally smooch her whole face, all the way down lick her shits because nobody ever could make this kind of profits she made him. He could now go traveling around the world with not a single bit of worry about his pockets for the rest of his life.

So much for loving and hating someone at the same time. Let's just say it's always a trade off. People don't explicitly say it because it makes them look ugly. But truth be known, people are all selfish. Even a lovable person is selfish because he is motivated by the intrinsic reward of being loved by many instead of one.

What can you do about this?
Is there an absolute solution?

No. Accept that life ain't perfect. Nobody's flawless.
Sometimes we are seriously blinded to our obvious flaws even our direct subordinates can see so clearly. And who are we to tell others off?

Ego. Righteousness. The pursuit of excellence, happiness, or even enlightenment. Whatever you name it. There's always a hidden cost and trade off someone somewhere if not something has to bare where you don't see it.

Do not be so certain that you are absolutely right. Exercise caution and moderation if your aim in life is to master wisdom.

Special thanks to my teacher Patrick Khoo for reminding me there's no absolute in characters, Discretion and Patience are 2 virtues I need to learn.