The One Thing You Really Care About..

i'd almost forgotten how long had it been that i never really cared about something or someone with real heart..

for some reasons experience made me deny feelings for things that matter most to me..

coz we all know how deep it cuts us and made us somebody else when what we cared most turned out to be disappointing..

but had we thought of how much life would mean when we really care whole-heartedly about something?

that feeling is hardly expressable by words..

it's just a deeply rooted soul to the grounds we stand..

like bare foot soaking in warm running shallow waters..

like an angel's palm reaching out to you when you believe nobody is ever gonna see you or care about you..

like the warmest hugs ever..

like the breath of life itself as if you never actually lived until then..

like falling off the cliff smiling, knowing it's not an end but the beginning of something worth risking everything for..

whenever i see a child and a caring parent..

the hopeful eyes watching the kid picking up his steps no matter how many times he fall..

the way fathers throw their babies high up in the sky and everything else become silent where you can only hear the giggles of the baby thrown high up facing the sky..

twisting and turning in the air watching everything around moving in slow motion..

all i wanted to do is to be that one father who you want to come to when all heavens turn ugly..

when all trees fall dead..

when all rivers run dry..

and still with open arms squatting near to your tiny size high..

waiting for you to run back to my arms and cry..

and i'll say, "it's okay.. it's okay.. i know how it feels.. it's okay.."

where were you when i needed that sense of love, support and security?

where were you when i felt least capable of standing up for myself?

where were you when i just wanted to share what little improvements i'd made in any single normal day?

where were you when i wanted to say i'm sorry i just wanted your attention..

where were you when i tried so hard to be somebody you could be proud of?

where were the hugs when i needed them most?

where were your encouragements when i fall?

where were your slightest questions on how was my day and what happened in school when i was hesitating to share my little stories of the day back then?

who cares about whatever smart-ass advices you now have for me??

that matter no more..

for i'd grown up learning that i don't need you anymore..

for i'd grown up learning that you were never there for me..

which i now care deeply to do in my life..

to give that little support to all children or teenagers who need that little extra attention..

i don't care if you study well?

i don't care if you even do a good job in school?

it doesn't matter really..

coz i know somewhere somehow you will find your way in life..

good or bad it doesn't take a good academic record or perfect disciplinary scores!

all it takes is a soul that is inspired and ready to believe again..

ready to believe that you're living again and you're living real for something you care about..

that you're a human and you acknowledge that others around you are also humans who as much as you desire that special touch that gives meaning to the numbers, the words and the journeys we live for..