Birthday

It is a day when you receive many similar statements of blessings..

A day where you are supposed to feel blessed and happy that you are still breathing..

That your being alive is still known and felt despite the distance and long lost of contact..

But it's only you who can tell how happy you really are..

Perhaps happiness really should be a simple math.

It's just 1 + 1 = 2.

But the question is, is that the one?

How do you know if it is the one?

There were 2 person that i felt strongly attached to before in my 25 years living thus far..

But till now i still do not know why..

Why did i feel strongly for them?

Why did they leave me when i expressed my love for them?

Why?

I didn't know if they accepted me, would things be different..

Would i still want them?

Or would i not anymore?

But all i know is i'm still lost.

In a sea of people who conveniently finds new forms of love and fun to replace the real and satisfying one.

Perhaps i should stop my arithmetic and logical mind from attempting to study..

Perhaps i should just let loose my heart to love again..

The irony of the whole thing..

Despite knowing that happiness is merely a mindset..

I guess i'm just obsessed over a purpose to live for.

Afterall the questioned started bugging me at the age of 7..

And evolved into the question of what am i meant to do in my life at age 18..

And here i am, in a world of wonders~

LOL~ Happy Birthday chris. =) The rebel deep down under.