purposeless

evil in the air..

gimme a punching bag now and i will crush it into bean powder.

coz i'm so mad with myself for not making progress when everybody else is at least picking up something to get by even though they also see no lights at the end of the roads.

i can't seem to understand what keeps people going.

what is the burning desire to live?

to see what you can make out of your life?

dreams and realities are so far apart!

you never know what is gonna happen the next moment you step out of the roads.

will the car come crashing into you when you wish so much for another day whereas when you don't want it it will give you so much that is only giving you more headache.

madness.

do i seriously need a lover to give me peace?

i just need reassurance of what i can make of myself in this quest of life.

but every 1 step more i take there is one more door locked. i can't even fucking see what's beyond that door!

what should be my drive then?

what happens if when i finally opened that door i totally fall apart in disbelief because of the new finding?

just the way a prospective employer who offered a good job opportunity to me told me nobody is indispensable in any organizations!

i was so naive i thought i could seek purpose in work!

and now i'm thinking of researching for a quest for purpose for all who finds little purpose in career life.

and who am i to tell i can get an answer when i'm frustrated myself?

i'll be beating myself to no ends probably ending up watching down from a highrise and fooo~

there it ends.

all for nothing.

if only i can see light after every day of work..

that i will move on for another day hungry for more..

blindsighted by reality or my mind i have no idea..