..the monster..

if you ever know.. arrogance could be a means of self-protection.

if you ever know.. how it feels like to know that you can never rely on anyone when you seriously needed one. not even your family or friends.

if you ever know.. how it feels like to have to be emotionless speaking to people that matters most to you.

then tell me how cold life can be.

sometimes i wonder if i am unconsciously trying to rewind everthing, every piece of memory..

but i know i can't. and truth and reality really contradicts with my illusions of life..

i wish i can run far far away to a new world where i can reborn again in an environment that teaches and supports me from beginning to the end what really is happening and what is expected of me. so i won't lose hold of my beliefs so easily..

reality can either strengthen or completely ruin a person.

do i have split personalities?

do i suffer from complex identities?

perhaps i am just experimenting with human's natural acting capacity..

i wish i can find someone whom i can relax my cognitive mind and just do stupid things with.. cause i'm really tired of trying to reason things.

there are just so many whys in life that can never be answered..

if only naive people treats the unattended whys with RESPECT..

sadly it is too much to ask for..

most people don't value differences, they celebrate commonalities only..

and worst of all, they associate differences with fears, disgust, and hatred..

shadows.. shadows.. shadows..

evil can emerge from the absence of love and support..

no matter how you fight against the little devil inside you..

what if you are essentially a monster..

humans don't appreciate monsters..