today i bought a big oreo cheese cake to celebrate with myself coz i'm happy that my bosses took the time to talk to me 1 after another in the hope of keeping me with the company. i felt honored and really appreciated. but i don't know what exactly can i contribute.. i like to be appreciated and this makes me happy. but i don't understand why at the end of the day i always look exhausted and don't really love myself so much.. i know something's still missing from my life.. something my soul knows i needed badly enough like water to fish.. but i dunno what exactly that is and how to get something to fill that slot temporarily..
you know what? i'm missing my mum.. i felt like i have so much to tell her and yet so little when it comes to seeing her in front of me.. couldn't bare seeing her upset and yet i can't hide..
i finally applied for teaching course. but i have not received any response yet. i don't know if i really would love that career and if i can sacrifice all the lifestyles of spending and having fun if i ever were to be posted to suburb.. i just felt like i have to at least give it a shot..
i'm happy that so far wherever i go my employers do look highly upon me.. but deep down i just wish i am loved for who i am as a fun friend or a person rather than having to competitively deliver assignments in record performances..
somebody once tell me i'm trying too hard to please everyone.. i guess maybe i am.. just to get approval and recognitions but does it really fill my soul?
i wish there's someone i truly love who can be there for me every night to just smile to and frown to. to hug, to kiss, to cheer, to play, to communicate to about anything in my head.. then i guess i won't have to keep everything to myself and not knowing how to release the loads of stress..
love you babe. to whoever you are who feels me deep down.. hugz~ ^^
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6 comments:
good for you...hope u will be successful with ur teaching application =p
hey idzwan, thanks for that.
i hope so too. but i have no idea when and how they will respond back tho.. i tried calling mohe but they just pushed me around.. = ="
typical government bureaucracy...be patient tho...
good luck =p
i have a feeling the results won't be out so fast. You'll be called to sit for a test, and to go through and interview first. Wish u all the best!
teacher!! lol, u've gotten ur job finally as a teacher! wanted to say, being a teacher is a different thing than just to please others but instead u have to build a strong relationship wif ur students , encouraging them and motivating them to believe in their strengths :Devery student appreciates a dedicated teacher :) so enjoy what u are doing now cuz u are imparting useful knowledge to little kids! haha :D
hey thxs anonymous~ but i'm just a replacement teacher now for 1 half month.. not even a temporary teacher.. but thanks a lot for the pointers! teaching is fun but very tiring.. and seriously it requires lots of sacrifices on my own lifestyle too.. hehe
and to mr/ms unknown, i didn't get shortlisted for dpli.. so i won't be going through any interviews or tests.. hmm nevermind i'm sure god has its plans for me when he closes one door. ^^
and ot idzwan, thanks for all the encouragements! ^^ hope you're doing fine and better great with your course now hehe
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