work life balance?

life..

broken down into a few simple phases..

the initial childhood where you play and learn..

the second phase where you started to be assigned accountability and responsibility but still learning and playing most of the times..

and then the third phase where you are about to embark into a journey we call the real world where competitions get stiffer and things get more materialistic and realistic..

then on perhaps the forth phase where most people finally started questioning their real purpose living, where material wealth no longer means as much as the quint essential meaning one derives from his life..

afterall we all desires love, appreciation, respect, and belongingness.. nothing else gives as much satisfaction compared to these..

where am i now?

the third phase perhaps?

indeed i should thank god and everything possible for giving me the chance to work with one of the most employee-focused organization i know..

i'd done my 1st 2 weeks of internship with Sunway Group so far..

things are getting into place and to be honest i have nothing to complain.

i'm happy working here especially as i found out more and more about how the organization invests in its human resource and knowledge database expansion.

even for an intern like me, i'm entitled to have access to its free sports club equipped with some simple passtimes such as snooker, gym, sauna, squash, table tennis, a comfortable lounge with satellite tv, and a library of management related titles. i noticed there is laundry service provided too but unsure if i'm entitled to it and if it's free or anything.

anyhow that's not the point here.

i'm currently assigned to the Group Internal Audit Department to learn about processes and procedures and control issues. of course things could be tedious at the beginning but i'm beginning to like the nature of my job as i was interviewed for a potential position that requires more analysis and thinking later on in the group. the idea of questioning systems, analyzing processes and simplifying them for adherence and smoother functioning of operations, process improvements, presentation to excos and attempting to convince change to be implemented, they all sounded interesting and consistent with my dreams to make a difference thus far. and even if i'm seeking to be a professor in the future, these practical experiences in planning and implementing changes from bottom up should be of great value in my sharing with potential students in the future.

everything seems perfect job wise, but my parents are consistently reminding me to ask and think about the future prospects of working with the same organization in terms of monetary promotions in the future and the accompanying expectations and if working in MNC is really suitable for me.

comparisons are made to my elder brother who's currently working in an audit firm in Singapore who's enjoying the better remuneration thanks to a doubly stronger currency exchange rate.

the question is, is it worth it?

what am i aftering?

job satisfaction entails much more than about monetary rewards.. but undeniably money is highly regarded in this new age of life. it could be the only source of security you can rely on when things turn bad.. at least you can survive with more money than less.

anyhow i'm trying to not think about that issue first.

i hope i don't end up aftering material wealth so desperately i forgot what i'm meant to do in this life. which i'm still trying to figure out as i learn more..

however on the other end of this phase 3 of life i'm occasionally feeling a lost of one significant puzzle..




the puzzle occasionally fits in but i can tell it's temporary and it is not the one..

what happens in life after working hours?

who are you outside your office?

is my role replaceable easily?

who am i?

who am i to you?

what am i here for?

why do i sometimes feel lonely?

why do i sometimes feel so tired meeting new people in life?

why do i desire so badly a warm soul next to my body in my bed as dawn falls and lights off?

i wished so badly there's someone close to me who would as much wishes the lights and everything turned off and attention focused on the soul next to it that's trying to convey shared messages across..

what are those messages so important or necessary to be communicated?

i don't know..

it's just a desire to tell someone that you don't feel lonely anymore..

that you're happy at the end of the day not wanting or needing anything others want or need but just another soul that understands and loves you..

a soul that expects no more than what you can comfortably and willingly offer and willingly assume all the responsibilities you wish to shed sometimes when you feel exhausted..

the one soul that is capable of comforting you like a baby and tell you it's okay..

"it's okay.. i'm with you.."

just as much as you wish to tell and convince the same to it..

where are you?

in the dark..

as you try to stretch your arms across your bed and pillows..

you started whispering to yourself..

"i love you.. i need you.. i wish you're here lying next to me.. giving me all the strength i need to recharge for another day.."

it will be the one thing that motivates you to work harder and stand stronger as days pass..

work life balance..

the room for self reflection..

the time and space for important questions of life to be addressed..

the moments that keep you awake and feeling evermore alive despite the simplicity and separation from the real world..

what is it all about that completes the puzzle of life?

where is that missing puzzle?

what satisfies the hunger from within?

what tames the beast when it gets desperate for everything else but the missing puzzle when the puzzle never surfaces?

i wonder if you feel the same..

i wonder if you understand how it feels..

i wonder if i'm able to express some common desires..

what are we here in life prepared for?

what do you want most badly?

have you got it? do share.




~my visions my ideals~